What is your deepest fear? Don't let your life be controlled by fear. Fear should never determine what you do in life. Some people are afraid of success or afraid to give up what it takes to be successful. As people, we have the ability and the power to be what we want to be as long as we work for it. We can't limit ourselves because of fear. If fear controlled our decisions, schools wouldn't be integrated, people would be without jobs, etc. You think Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. lived his life in fear? The first time I heard the famous quote by Maya Angelou, it made me realize I was living in fear of being successful. " Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." This part of the quote is the most powerful thing and the influential I ever heard in my life. Life is a like a long road with two end streets. The road you choose is determined by your ability handle fear. Which road will you choose?

Can't Break Through

I've tri ed everything I just can't seem to break through this depression. I have begun to miss class because of it. I find myself laying in the dark just staring in the deep darkness of my room. I walk around with a smile and I may laugh and joke around, but deep inside my soul is crying. It isn't tears that run down my face, they are the tears that make your head and throat. My tears explain exactly how my mind feels. My mind hurts. I spend 23 hours of the day thinking and hoping my life will get better. I hate feeling this way. I am a prisoner of my own mind. What am I suppose to do? I just want to be myself. I can't do that if my identity seems lost.  I cry more than the average person. The moods I be in, I just feel like being to myself and that's when the loneliness sets in. When I'm by myself, I feel it's better that way because then I can't take my depression out on other people. I cried writing this post. My life was great before I got to high school. In my 4 years of high school, I lost so many people. My head still has not recovered from all the pain and this past spring I lost 2 more friends. I have been through a whole bunch in my life that I just can't let go. Missing sleep because I spend most of the night crying is getting real old. I try and try everything to get better. I try talking to people, I try getting out the house and attempting to have fun but nothing seems to work. Why me? I don't do anything wrong but I feel as if I'm being punished for something. I just want to live. I want to be normal again. I hate crying myself to sleep at night. This depressions effects all of my relationships. I grow further and further away from my friends and families. I need help. I just need someone that will listen. Is that too much to ask for? The image below describes how I feel. I feel with every step I take, it gets colder and colder and lonelier and lonelier. 

What is Love?

What is love? Is it merely a mind trick or an actual feeling of the heart. Some people try to avoid love because they think it ruins lives and relationships while others look for it. I am one of those who look for it but haven't been lucky enough to find it. Love is also one of those things that can stress you out or depress you because when you find that person that shares love with you, the slightest thing can irritate you or bother you in anyway. Waking up and feeling that soft gentle touch and kiss is something I would love to experience it. When you walk around and see happy relationships, don't you wish you could share that same joy with another person. Love has its bad times too. Love makes you do crazy things. Without love where would the world be today. Everyone needs love no matter what they say. Love has control over the way we think and act. It also controls who we talk to sometimes. Personally, I won't mind dealing with the struggles of love especially when my life is a struggle without love. I'm not saying that love will make your life better because sometimes it makes it tougher, but in some cases it can make you happier. Love is one of those words with a million meanings. What is your meaning of love? What does love mean to you? Think about it, love is life. Is love in your life? How does love make your life? Real true love knows no weight, shape, race, style, or distance.

Love is life love is breath

Love can be the cause of death

Love is here love is there

Love is found everywhere

Love has ups love has downs

Love has smiles followed by frowns

Love is life love is breath

Love can be the cause of death

Depression

My life is full of a bunch of great people. Oddly enough my life hasn't been the best. I've dealt with so much. I've lost friends and family. Soon as I begin to think that everything will get better, I lose somebody else in my life.  Its gotten to the point where I wonder if I will live to see another day. People tell me if I add God to my life, I won't go through anything too rough. I feel so alone in the world. I don't know who to turn to. I'm a lost and confused soul with millions of questions looking for a million and one answers. " How do I deal with depression?" "How long does it last?" " Can it be deadly?" These are just a few questions I need answered. Dealing with this stuff alone makes me hard to get along with. My family and friends avoid me because I tend to snap at the drop of a dime. I don't like being that kind of person. I'm usually a joyful and funny person but lately I just feel like its me against the world. I want this to be over. I want to be my own person again. I want to regain control of my mind. I don't know how to deal with this. I feel like no one cares about me. Sometimes I wonder if everybody else's life would be better if I was gone. What am I to do? How do I fix my mind? I need help. I don't know what to do. I want my old life back. How do I get my old life back? I hate feeling like this. I want to be Drew Staunton again. I don't know who I am anymore.